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Why It’s Okay To Find Yourself

After rambling on about a toad wearing a top hat and a vest (as toad’s do), I discuss the three reasons why it’s okay to find yourself.    

The First Letter

The First Letter

Dear Thighs, I hate you. You as you rub together, a reminder every time I walk. You as you thwart any attempt I make to feel good about myself. You as you forbid the passage of jeans. You laugh, I know it may seem funny. […]

How to Be the One Who *Continues* To Show UP

Showing up is hard. Showing up takes balls (or boobs, depending on your mood). But showing up may diminish over time. Unless you are in the 5% who think this last one is BS. It’s the other 95% who will let it diminish. But not you. Nope. You get up. You lace up. You show up.

Italian Chicken Sausage and Veggie Soup

Italian Chicken Sausage and Veggie Soup

Do you ever get on a soup kick? A desire to have a hot bowl of deliciousness? Me too! I love to make a pot of healthy soup at the beginning of the week for lunches. It makes lunch time so easy, because you just […]

Fancy Nuts

Fancy Nuts

One of our guilty pleasures is watching Food Network’s The Best Thing I Ever Ate (celeb chefs share foods they love from someone else’s restaurant). There was this one episode where Giada de Laurentiis was describing these fancy bar nuts she just loved. We were […]

Peppermint Fat Bombs

Peppermint Fat Bombs

Recently Nicole and I tried the Keto diet, which puts an emphasis on eating lots of healthy fats. Nicole showed me this recipe from a program Chalene Johnson was testing for peppermint fat bombs (small snacks chalk full of healthy fats and low in carbs) that I had to try. I journeyed over to Whole Foods for coconut butter—which is different from coconut oil by the way—and then popped into Trader Joe’s for their yummy Extra Dark Chocolate Wedges. With all the ingredients gathered, my journey into the land of fat bombs began.

The fat bombs were chocolatey, lightly pepperminty and almost perfect. I have since tried this recipe again with a few adjustments that worked rather well. Here is the original recipe with a few notes on the adjustments I made.

Oh, and these little babies melt easily so keep them in the refrigerator. Enjoy!

Peppermint Fat Bombs

November 11, 2017
: Easy

By:

Ingredients
  • 1/2 cup coconut butter
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
  • 2 Tbsp. coconut oil, melted
  • 1 tsp. peppermint extract (I upped it to 1 1/2 tsp)
  • 1/2-1 teaspoons liquid stevia
  • 1/2 cup dark (70%+ cocoa) chocolate chips
  • 1/3 cup coconut oil (reduced to 1/4 cup)
  • 12 muffin liners
Directions
  • Step 1 Soften coconut butter by putting bag in warm water or removing from container and microwaving.
  • Step 2 Mix together coconut butter, 2 tbsp coconut oil, shredded coconut, mint and stevia.
  • Step 3 Distribute evenly among 12 muffin liners. Set in freezer to harden.
  • Step 4 Once hardened, combine coconut oil and dark chocolate chips in microwave safe bowl (or double boiler) and cook until smooth.
  • Step 5 Distribute evenly over peppermint layer.
Arabic Dressing

Arabic Dressing

For most people, the food they grew up eating was often tied to their culture. Well I grew up with a little Lebanese grandmother who would cook Middle Eastern cuisine often for us. And anytime she made a salad (including potato salad) she used a […]

Chocolate Banana Peanut Butter Shakeology

Chocolate Banana Peanut Butter Shakeology

After some experimenting, I have come to the conclusion that my favorite Shakeology flavor is Vegan Chocolate, followed closely by regular Chocolate and Strawberry. No matter the flavor, I almost always use unsweetened almond milk and frozen fruit. It yields a nice, creamy smoothie. A […]

When the Hustle Becomes a Hindrance

When the Hustle Becomes a Hindrance

There was a very strong chance I was never going to share this.

No one remembered the teaser pic I posted weeks ago with my before shots. No one was banging down my virtual door to see my results. Which was good, because in my mind, I didn’t have any.

July and August had me spinning and pushing and grinding. I got up early, stayed up late, pushed my body to the breaking point, pushed my mind and energy even further. If you know anything about me, you know that I HATE scales. At times they are lying traitorous bastards that have the ability to either steal your happiness while cackling with glee. Or they hand you the validation you didn’t know you’ve been craving while it smirks, knowing all too well how much power they have over you.

When I stepped on the scale after 21 days, I had gained three pounds. I was jolted out of my sleep stupor and pierced with a stab of failure. Everything came crashing down on me. How is that possible? I was working SO HARD. My rational coach brain told me I was smaller, I had gained a ton of muscle with this program, that I had so many non scale victories. But it didn’t matter.

That number was all that mattered at 5am, Wednesday morning.

The rest of the day was awful. I was short with the baby, snapped at Kurt, ignored Heather. Then I went further down my hole of black by seeing my actions and getting disappointed in myself. How could I help others when I can’t even help myself?

Then it was time to take photos.

Was my physical transformation earth shattering? No.

Was it groundbreaking? Hardly.

Was it going to win me any awards? Ha.

Did any of that really matter?

No. Because there *was* a transformation. I’m not talking about the lack of back fat in the second picture. I’m talking about the wave of knowing coming over me when I put these photos side by side.

It’s scary to make change. It’s scary to grow. It’s scary to think that others will want to listen to you or follow you when you don’t feel like you have one inch of it together. It’s scary to work hard and not see lightning fast transformation.

But sometimes it’s the transformation that goes on inside. The Day One me was cocky after losing 8 pounds the month prior. The Day One me was talking herself up, giving herself a pat on the back for hustling so hard that sleep was thrown away and quality time with Sam was pushed to the side. The Day One me thought she had it figured out. Everyone sacrificing in the beginning, right?

The Day 21 me gave the Day One me space. The Day 21 me let the toddler in me have her tantrum and when she couldn’t cry any more, Day 21 wrapped Day One in her arms and just breathed.

There’s no need to wrap everything up in a number. There’s no need to to walk into a situation thinking you are the master when really, you should always be a student. Always striving to better yourself. Always striving to find that effing balance. Always striving to learn how to live life while taking it by the balls.

Hustle is good. Pushing is good. Grinding is good. But not at the expense of your happiness and wellbeing. It’s there–in that realization of self acceptance–that I needed to take it back. Take my health back, take my thoughts back, take my business back, take my life back.

Things are changing over here. We are adapting, we are listening to ourselves, we are being kinder to ourselves, we are creating again. Now if that’s not a groundbreaking transformation…

Well hell, I don’t know what is.

Love, Never Afraid to Learn

#TransformationTuesday


Dear Thighs

The First Letter

The First Letter

Dear Thighs,

I hate you.

You as you rub together, a reminder every time I walk. You as you thwart any attempt I make to feel good about myself. You as you forbid the passage of jeans. You laugh, I know it may seem funny. I know you weren’t the one to shove that food down my throat. But there you are. Staring at me. Reminding me.

“Remember that time,” you whisper. “Remember how we felt.”

Of course I remember. I remember the shame and the disgust. I remember the sour tang in my mouth every time I looked in the mirror. That shame and loneliness and bitterness is crashing over me now in fact. Don’t you remember Thighs? How I used to hide you? How I used to pummel you with my fist in frustration. How I used to wrap you up as waves of anxiety splashed down on me, one right after another. How could you let us get back there? How could you let us feel this way again?

Alone. Overwhelm. Embarrassment. Anguish.

Disappointment and Disgust.

The weight of it all just presses, presses, presses. And here I stand, looking in the mirror, looking at you, and seeing that number on the scale again. The same damn number. I thought we had fought it. I thought we had beaten those feelings, evicted them. But here they are again, banging down my door, and holding me to the ground. How did we get back here? How how how?


The baby cries in the next room and I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. 

I hang my head and close my eyes.


Thighs…

I love you.

You as you allowed me to clutch onto you as I brought him into this world. You as you give me enough strength to walk him around the house when he can’t settle down. You as you promise me we’ll get through this together. We did it once. We can do it again.

“Remember that time,” you whisper. “Remember how we felt.”

Of course I remember. I remember the pride and the elation. I remember the lightness in my chest every time I looked in the mirror. The strength and courage and determination crashes over me now in fact. Don’t you remember Thighs? How we used to show you off? How we used to applaud you for your power? How we used to take wide and steady steps, one right after the other? I think we can get back there. I think we can feel this way again.

Happiness. Gratitude. Peacefulness. Satisfaction.

Love and Confidence.

The weight of it all just lifts, lifts, lifts. Here we stand, looking in the mirror, looking at each other, and seeing that number on the scale. That same damn number that doesn’t own us. We had fought it. We had fought those feelings, and won. Now here they are again, and this time…I’m elated. This time we are on the same side. Thighs, it’s going to be hard. It’s going to be painful. There will be mornings when we want to cry from the pain, sleep in and delay (just one day won’t hurt right?), and succumb to weakness. We are going to curse, and wail, and complain. But we are also going to win. Win win win.


The baby laughs in the next room and I inhale a deep, fresh breath.

I open my eyes, not backing down for even one second as I stare into the mirror. 


Love, We’ve Got This